BoyzToMen: If your father wasn’t in your life, heal, forgive
“The first step towards having daddy issues is healing. You are going to be angry especially if your dad is there. The person you are angry with is getting on with their lives,” Peter Igaga advised about men with daddy issues on BoyzToMen segment on D’Mighty Breakfast with Brian Mulondo and Maritza.
Igaga advised the men who are in this situation to heal, forgive and not forget. He says not forgetting helps them avoid the mistakes that the father made.
“Do not forget because if you forget, you will do the same things to your children,” he said.
Brian Mulondo said he also grew up in a family without a father but his mother always made sure that there were men around him.
“My mother was a bit of wise, early on, she brought dudes and those guys helped me to be a man,” he said.
Maritza, who was surprised to hear that men too have daddy issues was told by Igaga that all men have daddy issues.
Igaga advises that men should reach out to their fathers and get the questions answered and if they are not answered, they should let them go. He says that children tend to be protected from a lot of things and so they need to reach out.
“It’s upon you to reach out and have those questions answered and if they are not answered, let it go. It is tough but that fire will consume you and stop you from being productive. That anger will translate into hate,” he said. He adds that that kind of hate can be transferred to the next generation.
Igaga says men should learn from such situations and give their children the things they missed out on, adding that men should mentor the boys who missed out on being brought up by their fathers.
“You know what you missed out on and what you needed. It’s now upon you to give that to your children. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be your biological children,” he said.
Igaga also called upon men to be there for their children because naturally, people will always remember what their fathers did than the things their fathers said.
Listen to the full podcast here: https://soundcloud.com/dailymonitor/boyztomen-what-a-man-should-do-if-his-father-has-been-absent-in-his-life
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